minutes to a meeting

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

minutes to a meeting : Why My Cat Refuses to Attend Meetings

1) No one asks her to participate.

Olivia always comes prepared to be part of the action. She wears her best fur, fluffs up her whiskers, and sharpens her claws. But people treat her as if she's just a cute little pet. As you might expect, she feels mad when the other attendees ignore her. So she takes a nap.

2) It's difficult to nap.

Usually, the big talkers speak with loud voices. While this seems to scare the other attendees into silence, it still makes it hard to sleep. She especially dislikes jokes because they cause an outburst of laughter, and that jolts her awake. Certainly, no one likes to be awakened by a loud noise.

3) They don't take breaks.

Olivia detests lengthy marathon meetings that go on and on without a break. She wonders if any of the people in these meetings were ever shown how to care for their basic comfort. When I suggested that she ask them to set up a litter box, Olivia curtly told me that she prefers a little privacy.

4) The attendees behave like mice.

Every cat knows that if you want to catch something, you have to watch it. But people in meetings have an attention span that would embarrass a mouse. They dart and dash about nibbling on everything without focusing on anything.

5) They drop what they catch.

Cats know that once you catch something, you bring it home. After all, that's why you caught it. But people drop a decision (or useful idea) and rush off to talk about something else. They don't even play with it. Olivia wonders if they know that they caught something.

So what are your meetings like?

Would Olivia want to attend one?

by Steve Kaye

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